Mental resilience is misconstrued to mean toughness, lack of shakability or indifference to troubles. As a matter of fact, resilience does not imply that a person never experiences stress, sadness, fear, and frustration. Strong people are not inaccessible to suffering they can go through hardships without losing the feeling of inner stability. Emotional strength cannot be inherited or not. It is a trait that can be gained over time by engaging in repetitive experiences, self-reflection and healthy coping behaviors.

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Life is always full of uncertainty, loss, disappointment and change. There is no person who is spared. The distinction between adapters and defeated people may fall in the way they perceive and handle challenge. Emotional pain is aggravated when the problem is perceived as a personal loss or a lasting state. When hardships are perceived as a transient state or a learning process, then the psychological flexibility is enhanced. This is an important capacity to balance interpretations of experiences which is closely associated with mental resilience.

Evading issues does not make one resilient. Distraction, suppression, or even denial is a means of many people to avoid pain through the discomfort. Raw emotions tend to re-emerge in future with even more intensity. The development of resilience also comes when one forms the ability to recognize and manage the feeling of discomfort by being conscious enough to react when necessary, and not by the impulse.

A key constituent of emotional strength is self-awareness. Unconsciously, individuals get disoriented by their responses. They can be angry, anxious or withdrawn without knowing why. Awareness means that we watch what goes on internally without being judgmental. Once people have identified how they think and how they feel, they become aware of what causes suffering, and what fills them with a sense of relief.

Emotional regulation is the control of emotional responses (though healthy and constructive). This does not imply the inhibition of emotions. It involves letting feelings exist and the means of expressing them are under choice. In case of e.g. anger, one does not have to be aggressive to feel angry. One does not have to be suffering in order to feel sad. Regulation is the establishment of the distance between feeling and action.

The decisions slowly develop neural pathways. With time, the brain gets more adept at pacifying itself.

Self-compassion is another significant life skill of resilience. There are a lot of people who talk to themselves in an abusive manner when they are struggling. They condemn conflicts of perceived weakness and errors. This intra person conflict enhances misery. Self-compassion is using the same understanding directed to oneself as to one close friend. It does not imply the justification of bad behavior. It consists in accepting the imperfection of humans and treating them not with punishment but with kindness.

Meaning is also a factor that affects resilience. Patients are better able to withstand suffering when they have a sense of belonging to values, purpose, or personal development. Meaning provides context. It makes suffering not a meaningless experience in a bigger picture.

Mental strength cannot be cultivated in one event or realization. It is developed over a long period of time in daily experiences. Every problem approached consciously is a source of emotional resiliency.

However, resilient individuals also feel pain, yet they heed to it faster. They do not identify themselves entirely through the worst moments. They have a feeling of continuity and optimism.

Emotional power is not high-pitched or melodramatic. It is silent, monotonous, and obedient. It is reflected in the capability to keep on moving forward despite imperfect circumstances.

Developing mental strength is among the best long term investments that one can make. It promotes healthier relations, improved choices and increased satisfaction in life.