Every human being has a running internal dialogue that runs silently under the day to day activities. This self dialogue deciphers experiences, values personal self worth and gives sense to achievements and failures. To most people this voice in his/her mind is more critical than supportive. The smallest error is exaggerated, the smallest flaw is criticized and the success is discounted as insignificant or by chance. This process of self-talk gets so used to it that at one point, it is no longer challenged. Nonetheless, this internal talking has a strong impact on the emotional state, self-confidence, and strength.

How the people address themselves when they are in trouble tends to reflect the emotional atmosphere in which they were brought up or the conditions cultures and society set. The message of being tough with oneself is internalised by many individuals as the way to avoid mistakes into the future or to ensure one gets better. Nevertheless, studies and clinical practice have always indicated that chronic self-criticism undermines the driving power instead of enhancing it. Rude self talk triggers the threat system in the brain, causing shame, anxiety and defensiveness. When the mind becomes aware of inner assault, energy is channeled towards self defense and not development.

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Self-compassion means the creation of a more understanding relationship with oneself. This does not imply the disregard of responsibilities and the justification of harmful conduct. Rather, it implies the attitude of treating imperfections with honesty and treatment. Self-compassionate position acknowledges that in being human there exist restrictions, emotional highs and lows and learning curves. This will be a way of letting people accept the errors without falling into self-blame.

The emotional responses are formed by the inner speech. When an individual views a failure as a sign that he is essentially a failure then the emotional effect is severe and was long lasting. As long as the same setback is viewed as a setback or learning experience, disappointment will still persist, yet the hope is not lost. It is not the actual event that identifies suffering but the interpretation.

It has to start with self-awareness of self-talk. Most people do not even know that they criticize themselves so much. With the internal language being attended to in stressful situations, one can notice patterns. Consciousness changes automatic responses to conscious ones.

Substituting the mean things one says about oneself with kind words does not involve naive optimism. It includes the use of balanced and honest statements. Rather than saying I am a failure, a sympathetic one can be, I committed a mistake, and I can learn. This change lessens emotional intensity and dignity is saved.

Compassion towards oneself also includes an appreciation of sameness. Everyone does not cope, is unsure in themselves, and disappointed. People feel that they are the only ones who suffer and this increases the pain. The recollection of the fact that struggle is a universal feature of being the human being minimizes isolation.

The other aspect of self-compassion is emotional allowance. The emotions that many people feel are weak or unacceptable and they give them a lot of suppressibility. With self-compassion, there is the ability to have emotions without judgement. This acceptance does not imply one should be stuck. It is the opening of the door to the emotions to flow.

The neural pathways also slowly change with time as a result of practicing self-compassion. The brain is less responsive to mistakes and is more inclined towards problem-solving.

Compassion towards oneself makes one strong. People learn to get over disappointments much faster since they do not use energy on self-accusations.

Harmless inner conversation is also a relationship enhancer. Individuals that are nice to themselves become not as defensive and more open to others.

The emotional strength is developed in those internal environments where it is safe and not hostile.

Self-compassion cannot be developed in a short time. Minor changes in the language add.